Secrets in Lace

Sunday, May 31, 2015

One of My Little Social Theories.

Young people, the hope of our collective-subconscious future.

Constance 'Dusty' Miller

This is just one of my little social theories.

The pendulum theory of social development is explained here.

If you think about the times we live in, we see news stories about some new fringe element and we wonder what motivates them. According to theory, whatever they’re doing is in reaction to mood or climate. There is a social context, it’s different for all of us as we live in different places. However, it is just as difficult to escape our surroundings, our circumstances, as it is to escape our upbringing, our expectations, or as it is to escape from behind iron bars, or even from our own home in the case of certain psychological phenomena.

Swings of the social pendulum stem from ‘the mentality of the masses’.

The masses are educated essentially by the environment, and in the state of the here-and-now, these updates are instantaneous. That’s why so many people get what passes for the daily news from social media sites such as Facebook. Part of my job involves reposting stories, and a good percentage of those stories come from posts by people (friends) on fb. This all becomes part of a collective, common narrative.

There was a sexual revolution in the ‘60s. There was a reaction to it—for example the purity or abstinence movement.

As often as not, there is a disconnect between stated moralities and actual behaviours, and there is difficulty in getting good data in social studies when the most personal questions are being asked and the most personal and private behaviours are being studied. What’s interesting about such studies, is that while the decision to participate in a study might involve some soul-searching and questions of privacy, the fact is no one really cares who actually got interviewed, observed, interrogated for the Kinsey or Masters and Johnson studies.

They are as forgotten to history as the average tween twerking in front of her mirror and iPhone for eventual upload to XXNN videos (link NSF) in the hopes of making a little money for clothes and cosmetics.

And there is your sexual revolution, come full circle: these days both legal and underage girls, and no doubt boys as well, are all too eager to utilize the utmost in modern technology to basically expose themselves to an unknown but potentially global audience. It has become a personal rite of passage. Interestingly, they have as much chance of being remembered as the subjects of the avant-garde sexual studies of the fifties and sixties, where sex was approached with the mores of a scientific investigation, rather than from the point of view of dogma, revealed truth and universal condemnation.

The pendulum theory is of course just theory—a simplified model, a way of looking at the real world that might teach us something new without being necessarily carved in stone.

People say one thing and do another. This has always been a weakness with social studies. 

They know what their attitude should be in a politically-correct sense, and at the same time they know very well what their prejudices are. Then they just go ahead and do what they want, just as people have done for millennia.

The contradictions push that pendulum back and forth, to where some people are willing to shoot doctors who perform abortions and others are willing to risk their lives to perform said abortions. Throw in a little hate and you’re on your way to the races. What’s at stake almost seems secondary, once moral lines in the sand have been drawn and folks are prepared to do battle in the name of God, or in the name of women’s rights, the right of the fetus. In the right or in the name of whatever the flavour of the day is.

Over the course of time, the social pendulum moves back and forth. Right now it’s in a certain position in your town and mine and you can see the net results of that by looking around you. Everything you see around you is a message of sorts—a data point, often absorbed purely by subconscious means.

You won’t even know its happening.

Because of the collectivity of the system, and the number of autonomous individual decisions being taken, under the social model, no one of us is ever necessarily wrong in a choice or decision. One would think that the outcome, collectively, as a social decision, can never be wrong.

Theoretically, this is the outcome that we have made, all of us pushing and shoving and working together in a global, collective sense. It also works the same way in smaller systems, as in the school, town, family or other more primitive community.


Dusty's a little bit insecure, but her new book, The Spy I Loved, is available free from iTunes.

-- ed.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Falling Out of Love.

Spare my little girl, Jesus.

Constance 'Dusty' Miller

Falling out of love is the worst.

There’s this empty pit in the bottom of your stomach.

All that was once good, all that once helped to make life worth living, all that made life, my life, bearable, has turned to ashes.

The taste is bitter in the mouth.

All joy, all reason for living is gone.

There is still the piglet.

She’s all I’ve got and when I look at her my heart just aches.

What kind of world will she grow up in?

What would happen to her if I was gone?

There are times when I lean on her way too hard, and she is so young. She is the spitting image of me at that age and all the loss, all the trauma, that I see, all that I fear for her, all of that is mine. It doesn't belong to her at all.

It’s all mine. It belongs to no one else, and I have promised myself, desperately, not to saddle her up with all that crap. All that bullshit, and all of those extremely low expectations.

I’ve tried desperately hard to shield and shelter her from all of that. And I know that I will fail, just as all parents ultimately do. We cannot protect them from what life has in store.

It’s going to get them one way or another. It gets all of us in the end, and perhaps there is a kind of justice in that. The proud are humbled and the humble are blessed by a chance to rest, to sleep at last, in the warm bosom of the Earth. And all things return to equal.

We were all created equal, weren’t we? That is the theory, anyway.

She will find her own way, and I don’t even have the right to try and stop her. I cannot warn her of the dangers she faces, tell her about the people she will meet along the way, the things that will happen to her, or surely she would be afraid to try at all.

They get to a certain age, wilful and determined, and we get a clear insight into some of the things that are going to happen to her in this life…

Jesus Fucking Christ, if you can spare my little girl even a smidgeon of the pain I’ve gone through then I will be eternally grateful.

No one can help me with this—no one.

It’s just something that we got to go through.

Hugs, ladies and gentlemen.


Saturday, May 23, 2015

Sex News Roundup, May 23, 2015.

Dusty Miller

Age 68, She’s Had Enough Sex.

“Dear Annie: Is there any end to it? I am 68 and have been married for 44 years. My husband and I both have some health issues, but he still needs sex, or he becomes depressed and can’t seem to function. My husband is also addicted to pornography and has been his whole adult life. I’ve looked the other way on this vice because he is otherwise a wonderful husband and father. I just don’t feel like feeding his sex fantasies at this stage of our marriage. Not to mention, Viagra is an expensive pill and has some side effects. I seriously would like honest answers from other senior citizens in their late 60s and early 70s. What should I do? I’ve thought about ending the marriage and letting him find a younger gal. I know that’s what some men need and want. – Had Enough, Thanks”

Read Annie’s answer: (spokesmanreview.)

I suppose I must sympathize. As for myself, I ain’t getting enough sex, and I’m only 32.


Gonorrhea Rates Soar.

“The Grey Bruce Health Unit is reminding you to practice safe sex, as gonorrhea rates are on the rise both locally and throughout the country. Medical Officer of Health Doctor Hazel Lynn says Grey Bruce has seen more than a 300 per cent increase, from six cases in 2013 to 25 in 2014. Doctor Lynn says contributing to this increase is the proliferation of online websites, such as Tinder and the local Craigslist that cater to anonymous sexual contact.” (bayshorebroadcasting.)

Sounds like someone’s pretty active up there in Owen Sound.


Four Koreans Arrested for Sex Trafficking.

“Four Korean nationals were arrested by the National Bureau of Investigation last Thursday for alleged human trafficking. Assistant Regional Director Augusto Eric Isidoro said an informant, also a Korean, was the one who tipped the NBI that the four suspects were running a website that offer tour packages to Koreans. These tour packages include sex services by Filipino women. To entrapment operation last Thursday was carried out at a hotel with the help of the Korean informant who pretended to book a girl from the website at $150. The girl was eventually rescued by the NBI agents and was convinced to help in pinpointing the suspects.” (thefreeman.)


Sex Trade Workers May Get Aid.

"A proposed grant from the City of Nanaimo would see $12,500 go to helping sex trade workers in the city through a small 'Community Action Team' that operates through the Nanaimo Women's Resources Society. Most of the grant will be put towards helping the CAT team cover costs in their work, such as printing brochures or providing information to help women get out of the sex trade or stay safe. Another local measure has been installing drop boxes throughout the city for sex workers to anonymously report clients who have assaulted them or were otherwise abusive. That information is also shared with the police.” (nanaimodailynews.)


Stolen Selfie Used In Sex Ad.

“A Texas woman is claiming that her Facebook page was hacked and that a selfie she'd posted on it was used in a sex ad on Craigslist. ‘Divorced White Female needing servicing... the more the merrier... color isn't as important as the tools you are working with,’ the ad said.”
Hmn. Wonder if that worked—wonder if was a mere ploy. Still, I suppose one should be sympathetic. (ifppress.)


Two Cups of Coffee a Day Might Improve Your Sex Life.

But I doubt it. First you’d have to have one.

“Drinking just two cups of coffee a day could dramatically improve your sex life, a university study has concluded. A study by the University of Texas has found that men who drank two cups a day where 42 per cent less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction compared to men.” (ekurddaily.)

Senator Calls for Firing Police Chief Over Release of Information.

Oh, I don’t know, senator. It is Arkansas, after all. He was probably just shaming them because they didn’t want to bring their babies to full term, or grant conjugal and visitation and custodial rights and prison visits to the perpetrator. ‘Cause life is just so fucking precious in Arkansas.

“A state senator from Northwest Arkansas is calling for the Springdale police chief to be fired over the recent release of a 2006 police report detailing accusations that Josh Duggar as a teenager molested five underage girls. Sen. Bart Hester, R-Cave Springs, said the girls have been re-victimized now that the report is public. He said Police Chief Kathy O’Kelley acted recklessly in releasing the report and should be held accountable.” (5news.)


Victims in Custody Recount Ordeal.

Boys charged with robbery, forced into oral and anal sex.

“The police officer first offered me money to confess my involvement in the crime. When I refused, he kicked me hard in the chest. Then he asked me take off clothes, pulled my underwear and asked me to pick up an open wire and tie it around my genitals. I kept crying and he threatened to plug in the other end of the wire to give me shocks. This is the horrifying account of one of the three boys, all 20 years old, who were arrested under the charges of robbery by Daund police and interrogated by Baramati Taluka police under Pune rural jurisdiction for their ‘involvement’ in another case.” (theindianexpress.)


That’s all for another Sex News Roundup.

Thanks for reading.