Secrets in Lace

Friday, April 5, 2013

Health benefits of sex.


With all of the important health benefits, the government should be promoting this.


My dad was terrible. He used to tell some wicked jokes, though. The only problem being that he was my dad.
A husband and wife get into bed. He hands her a glass full of water and two aspirins.
“But I don’t have a headache.”
“Good! Let’s make love then.”
“Ewww. Daddy!” Don’t say stuff like that.
Sex has all kinds of important physiological and psychological benefits, but can it prevent or relieve a headache?
According to the study reported in Huffington Post, yay! Sex can reduce the pain of migraine headache.
See, there is some method in my madness.
I could have used this information yesterday. I’ll say that much.
Sex also boosts your immune system, improves self-esteem, and has important and beneficial effects on the cardio-vascular system. It lowers the blood pressure. It keeps your arteries nice and supple, and prevents them from hardening up. It strengthens the bond between mates, gives the opportunity for real intimacy, and I don’t know what all. But a little sex in your diet helps burn calories and maybe even you could drop a couple of unwanted pounds. For men, and hopefully a few men read this post, frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. For both sexes it strengthens the pelvic muscles. If you’re getting up there in years, think of all the broken hips you could avoid. Those lower body muscle groups are important. But enough about the science.
...
There was this guy, and I honestly think he was trying to pick me up in the grocery store. He was paying more than casual attention, and at least giving it some serious thought. The eyes say it all, eh, girls?
I had one of those stuffy little migraines that builds and builds and there’s nothing you can do about it. Three or four aspirin won’t even touch it. Somehow that came across.
It’s like I just didn’t want to know. Strong light, like when you’re driving, is the worst. Noise, music, TV, turn it off. Kid screaming? God help me. The worst one I ever had lasted two or three days.
Anyway, I had this headache, and the brat was with me, and the whole thing was just so obviously not happening.
Hunk courtesy stockimages.
Sigh.
The thought did cross my mind though, especially since I was wearing my X-Ray glasses, which I use to see through clothing…all too clearly sometimes. But this one wasn’t hard on the eyes. A little more chest hair would have been helpful.
Just to put it in perspective, I’ve had four or five of those headaches in the last three weeks and I sure as hell don’t drink much. (I’m not a cheap date, guys. You have to talk to me and stuff.) But it just goes to show you.
Bonus fashion tip for the boys in the hood: Ditch the brown hoodies, on a cold day when you put the top up, when viewed from behind you look like a turd on two legs.
Also: pull your pants up a bit so I can see if you have an ass or whatever.
Just sayin’.

No comments:

Post a Comment